love is blind but love so am i
by rangerdanger985
Summary: Crowley was in an accident at 13 that resulted in him losing his sight, ten years later he meets aziraphale and they are happy but angels and demons might not be part of the story the heavenly host and satanic minibar are both still assholes to our ineffable love birds. And crowleys disability is a perfect target to sow doubt into an otherwise happy relationship. TW blind crowley


Crowley has been living in his own personal hell for the past ten years. When he was 13, he was, through no fault of his own, involved in a car accident. He doesn't remember much of it aside from the fact that he hit his head something fierce and they'd had to shave a chunk of his scarlet hair off to stitch a wound, but other than that he was fine, or he thought he was fine until three days later when he opened his eyes and was surrounded in a unimaginable darkness he couldn't escape.

He had gone blind, he thought that would be his life, stuck in a shitty situation with no way out and no reprieve until ten years after the accident, when he met HIM.

Well, met was a strong word, it was more like ran into him than anything else, or well he'd ran into Crowley.

Crowley had been out for a walk at saint James park, needing the fresh air and time to clear his head after some of his more annoying cousins had invaded his apartment and started fucking things up. And it wasn't like he could watch where he was going, he'd just been about to turn back and return to chase his cousins from his home when something hit him.

The worst part about being blind, aside from the whole couldn't see bit, was the lack of depth perception. No way to tell which way was up or down aside from a vague idea that nine times out of ten was incorrect and so catching one's self, or attempting to, could cause more harm than it could prevent. Crowley had just prepared himself to fall flat on the gravel path when he felt something come up behind him, catching him around the shoulders and keeping him on his feet.

"oh, I'm so sorry about that" a voice spoke from his left "I wasn't watching where I was going are you alright?" Crowley smirked despite himself "not paying attention? Shame that, at least one of us needs to see where were going" he said, tone dripping its usual sarcasm and the other fell silent probably taking in Crowley's dark glasses and the neon red cane still gripping in his hand.

At least he was told it was red but it wasn't like he could tell "your blind" it was said as if the man blurted it out without thinking "yes, very observant of you" he said dully, he wasn't annoyed by the statement exactly, mostly he was exasperated but not annoyed after all Crowley didn't carry himself like a blind man.

The stranger didn't realize this however and Crowley was sure he had flushed, could hear it in the mans voice when he spoke again after quickly releasing Crowley, seeming to just realize he still held him around the shoulders "oh I'm sorry dear boy, that was terribly rude of me to just blurt out like that" Crowley waved a hand, stopping the man mid apology/explanation "bah I'm used to it, if you want to apologize however you can buy me lunch"

There was silence for a moment where Crowley half wondered if he should be worried, after all the man could be married, but then the other spoke "well alright, but might I know the name of the man I'm treating?" Crowley couldn't hold in his grin and half extended his hand in the man's general direction "Anthony j Crowley, at your service" a hand took his own, large and warm and callused despite its softness and shook his own "a pleasure my dear, my names Aziraphale, Aziraphale Angel"

Crowley thought it an odd name but didn't question it, after all one of his relatives was named Beelzebub, instead he followed the man and had one of the best lunches he could remember. Later he would speculate as to why, but it would take him years to realize it was because the other didn't treat him as if he was blind aside from gentle consideration, such as tucking Crowley's arm into the crook of his own to lead the way.

And even that he did it as if it was second nature, not something he would do just because Crowley couldn't see where they were going.

That specific meeting had been six years ago, and Crowley considered it their first date, even though Aziraphale didn't say they were dating until two years after. They clicked so well Crowley didn't think to be suspicious or question the man's appearance, even though his cousins and siblings bombarded him with their own or made fun of him.

They had always been cruel, especially his cousin Hastur who had been in the accident as well and had lost his friend Ligur, he was fond of saying the only reason Aziraphale stuck around was because of pity, or because Crowley was blind and so couldn't see just how hideous he was.

Crowley had grown used to it over the years, after all his family wasn't exactly nice before the accident, but even as he ignored the words they stuck with him haunted him with doubt even as he sat in Aziraphale's bookshop, surrounded by the smell of old paper and dust, the sound of turning pages from where the owner sat reading. It had always comforted him in the past but now it did little to quell his raising anxiety.

That was another bad thing about blindness, one couldn't exactly escape their demons and Crowley had a lot of them.

Little did he know the same thoughts and fears lingered in Aziraphale head his brother Gabriel had never approved of his choices, be they with food or fashion or his shop but especially not when it came to his relationships.

His brother had said, in no uncertain terms, that the only reason Crowley stayed was because the redhead couldn't see him, after all who could really care about him with his pale hair and plump frame.

The words had hurt nearly as much as the doubt they sowed.

As always it was Crowley who broke their silence, the man likes to fill the silence with his own voice, questions and speculations especially when he was drunk, beautiful sight that was "you've been on that page for a while" he said and heard the other man sigh quietly "I suppose I have" he muttered making Crowley furrow his brows, spared for a moment from his own thoughts to focus on the other.

After all he'd never heard the man speak with that tone before and he'd been on the receiving side of a lot of different tones from the man "something on your mind angel?" it was as much an endearment as his last name, it was also one of the reasons why it had taken Aziraphale so long to realize they were dating since it was Crowley's favorite pet name for him. It was a funny thought and helped distract Crowley from the anxiety that now twisted in his guts until the man sighed again, fainter this time as if not wanting Crowley's sharp ears to hear it "its nothing dear heart just a recent visit from my brother"

Crowley immediately sat up from his sprawled position on the couch and turned to face the other man, thankful he hadn't removed his glasses as he usually did in the bookshop as he stared at the man, or where he thought the man was.

"angel" he said disapprovingly in the voice he usually reserved for his plants when he felt they had started to droop "what did the bastard say that's bothering you so much"

When the other didn't chastise his use of language he knew it had to be bad "he, he said that, well, that the only reason your with me is because, well, because you can't see me" Aziraphale muttered most of this statement but that was one of the few good things about being blind, your other faculties jumped into overdrive to make up for it "which I don't believe for a second of course-" now Crowley sighed, pointedly loud to shut up the other man.

It worked surprisingly well any time he did it, he didn't know why it sounded like a hiss to him "get over here" he scooted to the side on the couch and patted the cushion next to him, the other man pausing for a moment, until Crowley scowled, and then rose.

Crowley could hear his shuffled steps coming closer and then felt the cushion beside himself shift as the man perched on the edge of it. Crowley twisted to the side, drawing a leg up on the cushions as he did and then held out his hands "what are you doing" Aziraphale asked making Crowley sigh in exasperation

"you say he told you I'm only with you because I cant see you, well I have a solution for that now budge over here" he felt the man shift as if uncertain before scooting closer, most likely copying Crowley's position before he reached out and took Crowley's hands, holding on nearly to tight and giving away his anxiety.

Crowley allowed it for a minute before pulling one of the mans hands closer, pressing his lips to Aziraphale knuckles to sooth some of his anxiety before pulling his hands away and holding them out again, waiting.

Aziraphale seemed to understand this time and leaned forward slowly until they made contact.

Now Crowley had touched the other man before, both in passing and in pleasure after they had had been in a relationship for six years, and so he had a vague impression of what the other looked like, built by his senses like a black and white photo of a plump man, slightly shorter than himself but the face, Crowley had never touched the mans face as he was now, never touched just to touch as he was doing now, 'seeing' the man without his eyes.

Aziraphale's face was soft, not unlike the rest of him, but it was also lined, Crowley's sensitive fingers feeling the creases on his forehead, worry lines, his mind supplied but worry for what? That he would be found lacking?

That wasn't possible.

Crowley rubbed his thumb over the lines until he felt them ease, heard the man sigh quietly and only then continuing his exploration, sliding fingers down the sides of his face, fallowing the gentle curve to his rounded chin, he was clean shaven in a way Crowley rarely made an effort to be, and once he knew the general shape his fingers started picking out details.

Fingers slid over cheeks, felt the twitch of muscles under the skin as the man held back either a smile or a laugh, maybe it tickled? He followed the curve of cheekbones until he felt the mans curly hair, of which he was intimately familiar and while leaving one hand there he moved the other to the center of his face, feeling the curve of a brow, following the slope of his nose, middle finder following its contour as his other fingers slid over eyes, felt eyelashes tickle at sensitive skin.

He slid his hand over, tracing the shape of an eye that was squeezed shut felling what was either the beginning of crow's feet or laugh lines at the corner, his eye felt damp.

Crowley brushed his thumb under the mans eye, brushing away the dampness of tears that he didn't know the cause of while the hand he had left in the mans hair slid down, felt laugh lines framing his nose, perfect for a man who always sounded so happy and them slid his fingers to the others mouth, felt that he was biting his bottom lip, keeping it trapped with his teeth

"stop that now" he spoke quietly, sliding his thumb over the man's lip until the teeth released it and then slid his thumb over it twice more, once to check for damage and once to sooth before finishing his exploration.

Cupping the man's cheeks in his palms Crowley leaned forward, pressing his lips to the man's forehead "I see you" he whispered and both felt and heard the mans breath shutter, one of his hands coming up to grab the back of Crowley's shirt "why are you crying" he questioned just as quietly but felt Aziraphale shake his head, gently so as not to displace Crowley "no reason dear heart, no reason at all"

Crowley's lips quirked slightly, not believing the man for a moment, but he'd let him have his secrets.

This time.

Having a vague picture of what Aziraphale looked like in his mind didn't help his own anxieties but the warmth when the man pulled him close, the feeling of his sigh against the side of his neck, the feeling of one of his hands combing through his hair and the warmth of his embrace curling in his middle like a satisfied cat.

It was enough to set his anxieties to rest.

~0~

"I love you, Crowley, you know that don't you?"

"of course, angel"

"then allow me a moment to say, fuck you"

Crowley's brow rose in curious amusement "oh? what did I do this time?" he couldn't see Aziraphale's face, but he was sure it was close to outraged, maybe flushed a nice shade of red, it would match Crowley's hair.

Now from an outside prospective this situation would be confusing, then again probably not if one knew Crowley and Aziraphale well enough, but to set the scene both men were in Aziraphale's bookshop. Crowley had claimed his couch once again, laying in a sprawl of long limbs that seemed like it would be painful.

Aziraphale stood staring at him from the foot of said couch, face just as red as Crowley imagined it would be and glaring of the others frame, the cause of said flush rested in his hands, a small black velvet box that Crowley had labored over for nearly three months before finally throwing it at the other.

It wasn't because of what was contained in the box although that was awe-inspiring, no it was more from what the redhead had said.

Let's take this from the beginning, shall we?

Crowley had, as mentioned, been stressed about the small black box for three months after having a mutual friend assist him in picking it out, that day he had become fed up with it and upon arriving at the others bookshop had thrown it in his general direction.

Despite his blindness he had damn good aim and nearly hit him in the face.

Aziraphale, fondly exasperated with his boyfriend's actions, had opened it and stared at the golden band inside, simple at a distance but at closer inspection it had an inscription in brail.

A simple message that made his heart pound in his throat and guts fill with warmth, really it was only three letters an 'I' followed by a 'C' and a 'U' meaningless to some but Aziraphale knew what it meant. It meant 'I see you' and it made his chest fill with love the same way it had when the other man said it only days ago to calm his fear, touching him in such a simple way, with tender reverence that had brought him to tears.

Crowley did that a lot when he felt like being soft.

Anyway he had looked at the man, forcefully relaxed and eyes hidden behind his glasses and said "its beautiful" Crowley had shrugged and said "its yours if you want it, me to I suppose" and waved a hand "'til death do us part and all that"

"is that a marriage proposal?" his voice had been uncharacteristically squeaky when he asked that but rather than laugh as he usually would Crowley just shrugged "suppose it is"

Which brings us back to where we are now.

Crowley laying there both amused and slightly confused at the others reaction, after all they had known each other for six years the man should have known Crowley was as untraditional as fuck.

"that is not how you propose!" Crowley rolled sightless eyes "are you really surprised I mean" he sat up and waved a hand in front of his own face "with my luck I would propose to a signpost in a traditional way"

There was a pause before Aziraphale spoke again "that would be both amusing and endearing"

"oh, shut up" he drawled, slumping back into the couch like a long-limbed dejected teenager. A warm chuckle had him scowling to fight his smile "so you want to get married" steps walked closer and then stopped directly in front of him "if you want" he muttered.

A hand reached out and touched Crowley's face, not surprising him the way any other touch would have. The hand stayed there for a moment, Crowley resisting the urge to lean into it before it rose and pushed the glassed from his eyes up into his hair, leaving his unfocused golden eyes exposed before returning to the side of his face.

"ask me properly, dear heart" the words were soft and made Crowley's heart speed up. He sighed quietly before swallowing and holding out a hand, Aziraphale placing his other hand into it.

Crowley wondered for a moment where the box had gone before shoving the thought away, instead running his thumb over his boyfriends knuckles and turning his face to where Aziraphale's was, the other mans hand which was still on his face raising it another meter so he actually did face him.

Daft bastard he thought fondly before taking a deep breath "angel" he started slowly "we've known each other for six years, been dating for nearly as long and in all the time that you've known me, you've never treated me as less than I am, I'm not a romantic so I'm not going to wax poetic about your daft ass but anyone that can deal with me for that long? Their worth keeping around"

He tightened his grip on the others hand "I love you Aziraphale and it's a simple as that, please marry me?" his heart was beating double time in his chest, nearly loud enough to drowned out the sound of a gentle sniffle coming from the figure in front of him, for a moment he was worried until the hand on his face pulled him forward into a long and gentle kiss that only ended with air became a requirement, more than an afterthought.

Even still the other didn't go very far, resting his forehead against Crowley's own the man spoke words that made Crowley feel like he could fly "of course my dear" he said and Crowley smiled, he smiled so fiercely that it hurt but he couldn't help it and he didn't stop it.

He was getting everything he had ever wanted.

Well not quite everything but it was close enough for now.

~0~

Crowley was far pickier for their wedding than Aziraphale was despite his lack of sight, employing the help of his, as he called her, seeing eye witch to help with the planning.

Both men knew anathema, she was one of those odd people who had wandered into the bookshop searching for old weird tomes for her grandmother, or sassy romance novels for herself. A self-proclaimed wiccan she had wandered in once and just sort of stuck around.

Not unlike Crowley himself had done the week after they first met, taking shelter from a sudden burst of rain.

She took to planning their wedding like a duck to water, booking saint James park, creating the invitations of which there were a surprising amount seeing as how neither Crowley nor Aziraphale planned to invite any of their family aside from a select few they could stand.

Now Aziraphale wasn't an idiot, he knew with the way his boyfriend turned fiancé soon to be husband had become twitchy that he was planning something. His eyes gave him away, unfocused and bright as they were, they couldn't lie.

He believed that was one of the reasons he always wore his glasses the same way he allowed Crowley to believe he was being sneaky, after all he doubted it was anything bad that they were planning, anathema would have told him if it was and if not her then her skittish boyfriend newt would.

That man couldn't keep a secret to save his life.

Either way as the wedding approached Crowley seemed to become more and more nervous, accepting Aziraphale's comfort but never telling him exactly what was wrong.

It worried him but not as much as the way the man seemed to just disappear a month before the wedding. Well disappear wasn't exactly the right word, after all he didn't disappear and he still picked up with Aziraphale called, excluding that first day, but he didn't return to the shop or agree to meet him for lunch.

He also didn't explain why beyond asking Aziraphale to trust him. which he did but still, he was worried about his soon to be husband.

The night before the wedding he called Crowley, just to assure himself that the man would indeed make it, that he would be standing there when Aziraphale walked down the carpet.

Crowley had spent a good thirty minutes doing exactly that, comforting and reassuring him and when they had ended the call he had done it in a way he had for the last month "I love you angel, soon our lives will be forever changed, for the better, I will see you soon"

Aziraphale didn't think of the expression as odd.

So much about Crowley was odd he was just used to it now.

Come morning anathema showed up at the book shop to help him get ready and also to drive him to the park for the ceremony, she didn't answer any of his questions revolving around Crowley aside from telling him that newt was taking him to the park and would be waiting for him there and that Crowley 'couldn't wait to see him' with a smirk that made him nervous.

Then again perhaps that was prewedding jitters, he hadn't barely slept a wink the night before.

He distracted himself with getting dressed, assuring the woman that no, he did not need help before stepping into the bathroom.

For the wedding he had chosen a cream-colored suit with a white shirt and tie, he didn't know why he just though it was amusing for some reason. That and with his pale hair and pale eyes dark colors looked simply ghastly on him.

The ride to the park was silent, anathema biting her lip like she wanted to say something but not quite managing it as he fiddled with his own fingers to get out some of his nervous energy.

But the moment he stepped into the park, heard the soft music coming from further ahead he had to smile.

"hello Aziraphale" a voice spoke from his side and he looked with a start to see his mother. A tall and strong woman Aziraphale had taken after her with her snow-white hair and pale blue eyes which sparkled with mirth.

It had been a long time since he had seen his mother and he couldn't help pulling her into a hug she willingly returned "mother" he sighed happily "I thought you couldn't make it!" he pulled back and she grinned at him "as if I would miss your wedding, not even the apocalypse would make me miss it" Aziraphale chuckled.

His mother wore a loose and flowing pale blue dress and sparkling heels that made her look as beautiful as ever "I'm glad you're here" he said earnestly even if her appearance meant that Gabriel was also there, he was sure their mother could control him.

"I'm happy to be here" she took his hand and linked their arms together, walking slowly toward the music "I met your young man before coming to wait for you here you know" she said conversationally

Crowley and his mother didn't really talk, they sort of clashed in a few things but Aziraphale knew from the shine in her eyes that she adored Crowley nearly as much as he did, and she had been sure to give them her approval after first seeing them together.

"oh" he said trying not to show his nerves "how was he?" he asked trying and failing to sound nonchalant. He could be forgiven for that he was minutes away from being married.

His mother chuckled softly "nearly as nervous as you" she said making him duck his head slightly.

She stopped them then, taking Aziraphale's face in her hands and making him look at her in that gentle way of hers "are you happy, Aziraphale?" she questioned and he ducked his head this time to hide his sappy smile "I am" he said and she smiled.

Smiled in a way he hadn't seen in years "he loves you very much you know, I'm sure you'll be very happy together" she stood and kissed his forehead and it felt like a blessing "now come on" she looped their arms together again "your mans been waiting long enough to see you"

There was that phrase again, but however Aziraphale was to happy to think about it.

As they drew closer Aziraphale saw the setup, a white carpet led up a path to a gazebo, flanked by rows of seats filled with friends and few family members that both could stand. Aziraphale could see Crowley's younger cousin Adam had made it with his friends along with Crowley's sibling Beelzebub.

He could also see his own siblings Michelle looked generally happy while Gabriel just looked constipated and Uriel just looked sort of indifferent. Random customers were also in attendance men and women that they had grown close to over the last few years all looking satisfied along with some people that Aziraphale recognized as different waiters from their favorite restaurant.

There was also a woman he didn't recognize, sitting near the front and wearing a simple green dress with brown hair in a smart bun. His curiosity as to exactly who she was however, disappeared the moment he saw Crowley.

His soon to be husband was standing by the steps of the gazebo which had been covered in stands of twinkling fairy lights not unlike the trees that surrounded them, giving the impression that this was a dream.

The man was wearing a dark suit, the exact opposite of Aziraphale's and his scarlet hair had been braided back from his face, though the stubborn strands were starting to escape in an artful way. His neon red cane, a staple in their life for the past six years, was missing but given that newt stood at his side he guessed he didn't need it.

Something else that was missing was his glasses, instead he stood with his eyes closed, looking tired and peaceful and so beautiful all at the same time, standing with his side to the carpet and thus his side facing Aziraphale.

As he grew closer the music shifted, coming from somewhere he couldn't see to a soft sounding song about running away across the milky way and all heads turned to Aziraphale. His mother squeezed his arm comfortingly, but he didn't mind the attention, more focused on Crowley.

Slowly they approached and as they did Crowley turned toward them and slowly blinked his eyes open, squinting for a moment before his lips pulled into a large smile that made Aziraphale's heart stutter. His cheeks hurt from his own smile and it wasn't until he was closer, and Crowley held out his hand that he realized the difference.

Golden eyes were following him, focused solely on his approach and gazing at him with such love it stole his breath. Crowley's eyes were damp and Aziraphale's own grew damp as well, tears slipping down his cheeks as he realized exactly what was going on and what Crowley had meant ever night.

Crowley could see.

Reaching up Aziraphale cupped his face with one hand "how… you can see me?" Crowley nodded slowly, never taking his eyes away from Aziraphale "I see you, angel" and just like the first time those words made tears fall down his already damp cheeks.

"for those out of the loop" a voice spoke and Aziraphale tore his eyes away from Crowley with effort to see the woman he hadn't recognized had stood up, looking very pleased with herself "my name is Samantha gray and this is a very special day, not just because it's the first day in the married life of these men, but also because I am an ophthalmologist and this is the first time that Mr. Crowley has seen his husbands face"

The gathered crowed gasped, both sides looking in amazement as Crowley turned his face away from Aziraphale and looked at them and then when he winked the entire gathering stood from their seats and cheered, there cries of congratulations and clapping so loud for a moment that nothing else could be heard.

And when they calmed down the woman spoke again "now with that out of the way" she rubbed her hands together "shall we get to the actual marrying part?"

The guests all sat back down and a priest walked from inside the gazebo, congratulating them for the miracle of restored sight before getting on with it, vows were exchanged, promises were made, not that they would never fight, or argue, but that no mater what they went though they would still love each other until the end of time.

They were easy promises to make and when they kissed, it felt as if the story had just started anew.

And this time they could both watch it play out.

(authors note: just a heads up but the operation crowley has is 100% real and called a Vitrectomy. it restores sight to patients that lose theirs from traumatic brain injuries which crowley sustained in the accident. it has been proven to restore a blind individual to 20/20 vision within a few months. google it, its pretty neat)


End file.
